Military E-zine Volume 1 – May 2001

Hi all—Welcome to our first free email newsletter. We just can’t fit everything we’ve learned about joyful living into our one 4-hour seminar. We constantly run across great resources and exercises and ideas — and we want to share them. So this is one place to do that. The format will evolve as we learn more. For this issue, the text is in the message. For those of you who prefer to sit in a chair away from the computer to read newsletters (my preference) there is an attached PDF file that you can print out, giving you color and graphics too. That might not be available in the future — the time involved to create it might not make as much sense as just typing and sending you information. We’ll see.
NOTE: We are sending you this because you asked to be on our list. If you’d rather not receive it, just email us and we’ll take you off the list.

Feel free to forward this to any friends.

To print the PDF:
You will need Acrobat Reader — and Aladdin Extender if you get this as a .sit, which means you have an IBM-PC. These are free at:
http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep.html
http://www.aladdinsys.com/index.html
(It’s really an easy process but if it seems like too much trouble, just read on.)

(download this file as a PDF)

Take care of Yourself — If you don’t, who will?
We know what it’s like — for so many women, self-care just doesn’t make it to the priority list, as they are busy putting everyone else’s needs first.

But think about this...when you fly and the flight attendant gives the safety brief, he says: "If cabin pressure drops a mask will be released in front of you. Put the mask on, pull the straps and breath normally (yeah, right!)." He goes on to say, "If you are traveling with a small child, put your mask on first — then help them with theirs." You cannot help your child if you are not breathing. And you can be no good to your family if you have not taken care of yourself. Selfcare is not selfish, it is selfless —& absolutely necessary if you are to be there for your family and friends.

Energy Tip: Drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. If you are exhausted, or have trouble concentrating, or have a headache, you might be dehydrated. 74% of our muscles & our brain consists of water. We need it!!!
Realize too that water means water or juice. It does not mean soda or tea or coffee — all of those are dehydrators. That means when you do have one of those you need an additional glass of water to make up for them. Drink more water — you’ll feel better for it.

Appreciation — "Just What I Needed to Hear!"
by Kathie Hightower
A friend forwarded an email with a copy of Maya Angelou’s poem "Phenomenal Woman," suggesting I forward it to my women friends for Women’s History Month. It’s a wonderful poem and I sent it to friends with this reminder: "Just remember, you are a Phenomenal Woman!"

A few days later I received a reply from one of those friends. "Kathie, you forwarded something to me that I couldn’t open. But your words made a difference that day. I was having a bad day. Your note was just what I needed to hear!"

Imagine. One short comment can make a difference. You just never know the impact your note of appreciation will have.

Chaplain (Maj.) Ronald Thomas shared a story in Recruiting News magazine (Winter 1997). Sister Mrosla had her junior high math class students sit down one day and write down one positive thing about each student in the class. She consolidated the comments for each student and gave them a copy. Years later, one student’s parents asked her to attend their son’s funeral. He had been killed in Vietnam. After the funeral Mark’s parents handed Sister Mrosla a piece of paper. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you would recognize it." The paper had been taped, folded and refolded many times. It was the paper she had handed out to Mark in junior high. He had obviously treasured it. And read and reread it many times.

Action Step: Think of someone you appreciate and let them know. It’s nice to hear in person but even nicer to receive a note. You can save notes to reread.

©1998, Kathie Hightower

Adding Daily Joy
Try this. Make a list of the things/activities that are important to you. For example, when I did this my list included:
Connecting with Greg (my husband)
Spending time with friends
Reading for fun
Quiet reflective time/journaling
Time in nature
Flowers
New experiences

It goes on, but you get the idea. So make your own list.

Then, a few weeks from now (put it on your calendar as a To Do item), review how you spend your time on a daily basis. Do you include those important things?

When I did this exercise, I noticed that nowhere on that list was money or fame. In fact, very few items on the list cost money. Yet so much of my life was spent at work — trying to make more money. Keeping that list in front of me regularly helps me make choices in how I spend my time.

As Jerry Ruben says, "Don’t tell me what you believe. Show me what you do twenty-four hours a day, and I’ll tell you what you believe."

From Our Library
There are so many wonderful books and tapes out there — that can help us figure out and live our lives more fully. Each month we’ll share one of our personal favorites — old and new. This month: for creative families: Barbara Glanz’s Care Packages for the Home. This book is full of great ideas to "add spirit to your family." I’ve bought eight of these as gifts over the years!


Don’t Just Set It — Get It!: Goal-achieving Tips
Create a treasure map for your dreams. Browse through magazines and catalogs. Cut out photos of your goals, of your dream life. That might include a hot tub or a garden or a waterfront view or a farm with geese. It might include the style of clothes or hair you’d like. Keep these in a basket (or folder) until you have enough to make up a collage on posterboard or foamcore. Have fun creating it. Put a photo of yourself in the center. Hang it where you’ll see it daily. By keeping it vividly in front of you, you’ll start taking steps, start making choices, start making decisions that move you towards what you truly want.

Joyful Parenting
By Holly Scherer
......My hardest lesson: LETTING GO! Enjoying the moments! I felt the weight of daily responsibilities — managing a home, childcare, disciplining, community involvement, work deadlines — hanging over me, making me feel stressed and unhappy with my role as a parent. I know my children’s lives are going to fly by. I wanted to cherish these times but I let the other responsibilities take over.

I made "to do lists," expecting to get the majority of the items done. I wanted to feel my days were "purposeful" and I could "accomplish" something.

I decided to do my To Do List differently.
I now make a "To Do List" with my children each morning at breakfast, (sometimes the night before). I actually write the items or have my children draw pictures of what we are going to do that day. Each child gets to put down what s/he wants to include. My twins are 4 years old and 99.9% of the times their item includes mommy playing with them, "play dolls with mommy", "play cars with mommy," "go to the park with mommy." They want my individual attention. Completing this list with the children helps them understand there are things mommy wants/needs to get done that day and it is a visible reminder for me to STOP and play with each child. (One key of course is putting fewer things on the list!)
This morning my daughter’s item is to pick dandelions with mommy, lay on the grass and watch clouds. Children are so WISE - if you just listen! LET GO and listen to your children. So I have to go now and pick some dandelions..

Next issue — the Wall Street Journal article that helped Holly make this HUGE shift in thinking.

We hope you enjoyed these ideas — and put some of them into action. Let us know if you have stories, ideas or resources to share — or questions you’d like answered. We are happy to research the answers if we don’t have them.
So, go out there and JUMP into LIFE!! Kathie & Holly

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