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Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the Military!™
Join us to learn how to Increase Your Energy,
Decrease Your Stress, and Go for Your Dreams!
An "as we can get to it" newsletter/ezine with
ideas, resources, stories and inspiration so you
can Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the Military™
written by military spouses for
military spouses!

Volume 12, 2003

In This Issue:
Reunions: Fact and Fantasy
A pedometer update
Did we start the German Hula Hoop Frenzy?

Reunions
First, we want to express our sympathy to those of you who just keep wishing for that reunion to finally take place: those of you in 3ID and other units, especially, where your spouse’s return date is unknown or seems to change daily. Out thoughts are with you. We know how hard it is not to know — and to get your hopes up once again, just to have them dashed!

For those of you fortunate enough to have reunions happening, we thought we’d share some thoughts from a spouse whose husband just returned from Iraq. Dotty Phipps, an Army spouse, has been through deployments before, but the deployment to Iraq was different. Even though her husband was home for only a week, and then had to return to Iraq, Dotty learned some valuable lessons this time around about reunions.

"At first when I found out he was coming home, I had the fantasies that most wives have about them: he’ll throw himself at me and declare that I’m the best wife in the world & my care package contents were spot-on, we’ll take long walks, stay up ‘til dawn talking, we’ll go to our favorite spots & hold hands, snuggle in bed and be oblivious to everything around us because we can’t stop drinking each other in with our eyes. But I also hope he doesn’t jump up in the middle of the night and try to kill me, that he doesn’t think I’ve gained more weight, suddenly remember that he doesn’t really like me, what if he doesn’t like what I did to the living room, how mad is he going to be about the dent in the side of the car…." "

Once the dust (literally) settled, Dotty noted the lessons she learned after her husband returned.

BED BOUNCING
"Not what you think. I'm talking about the jumping up in bed almost every hour, wondering where they are, who you are, what's that shadow over there, where's my weapon /soldiers, etc. I'm not saying this'll happen to everyone but it has to be expected. Try to take a nap before they come home or just be ready to be awake all night. They probably won't even remember any of it in the morning & won't understand why you need an IV drip of coffee and the bags under your eyes are hanging lower than your breasts."

\THE "PAT DOWN"
"This only lasts a few days & you'll notice it mainly when you're getting ready to leave the house. You'll see them patting their shoulders, the pants leg, their hips, looking for something that's become almost an extension of their bodies. The "pat down" syndrome will also show itself during an argument (with you or anyone else),long check out lines and traffic."

THRONE, SWEET THRONE
"Aahhh, a real toilet. With real toilet paper! And a real seat...that will never be put back down once they're finished. It can't be helped. They've been through combat, can fire any weapon, decipher a jumble of colors & codes on a map and locate what grid square they're on but once confronted with a toilet they become mesmerized by the pretty swirling water after they've flushed and would probably continue to stare if a) the water hadn't stopped moving, and b) they weren't getting hungry again."

JUST LISTEN
"Without warning he might start talking to you about what he's gone through. Don't judge. Don't say "How could you?", "Did you kill people?", "You think YOU had it bad, what about me?", "Did you see any bodies?" Very slowly they'll talk to you in their own time. If they want to blurt out every thing the minute they see you than great but for many it'll take some time to really talk to you about what they've done & sometimes it'll be scary. Just listen, that's all they want. Get a map of Iraq & have them "walk it" with you, to show you where they were and what happened in different spots. It might help your children too, depending on how old they are and what they're told. It really helped me."

SWEET NOTHINGS
"You might have some letters or emails that just can't be from your guy because they're too mushy and sweet. He might come back and say things to you he hasn't said since you were first dating. Maybe he's never shown this side to you before. Remember it. Cherish it. Hold it close to your heart because not too long after he's back he'll be doing the same dumb things he used to do that drove you so crazy before he left. Trust me - it won't take long."

"These tips (from Dotty) may or may not help you but the few minutes it took you to read them were a few minutes further into the time they're away. You are now that much closer to them coming home."

For most of us, when that deployment reunion happens, we are so focused on that actual moment of reunion, the big ceremony, seeing him again for the first time in months, we forget about the days and weeks to follow. And no matter how good your relationship, there is a big adjustment when you have to merge two different schedules again, when you have to grease up those communication wheels again, when you have to adjust family members who have grown in new ways during that deployment.

The military services have identified a need to provide counseling and reunion training to military returning from deployment. The training is
important and mandatory. They've identified the same need for family member training, but of course can't make it mandatory. From our own experience and talking with other spouses, we say, "Take advantage of this kind of training." It's important and you don't have to reinvent the wheel here. Why learn the hard way when you can learn from the experiences of those who have gone through this already.

TOP

Contact Us:
Kathie Hightower & Holly Scherer
Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the
Military Seminars
kathie@jumpintolife.net
2908 N. Warner Street, Tacoma, Wa 98407;
Tollfree: 866-569-5695;253-761-8161;
fax253-759-4009

Or contact Holly directly in Memphis at
901-756-7391 or email her at
schererjh@earthlink.net

An update on Pedometers…and a thought
Those of you who have been to our workshops recently or who’ve been on this ezine list for a while know we are crazy about pedometers. Those inexpensive little step-trackers let you know if you really are getting as much exercise as you think you are. They don’t lie. Wearing them is a bit addictive. You find yourself pushing yourself towards a bit more walking than you would ever do otherwise.

It’s a national trend. If you haven’t heard about the America on the Move project, a grassroots effort to get sedentary Americans walking, check out www.americaonthemove.org. "The idea is that small changes can make a big difference." Sign on there to get a list of 100 tips to step up your walking, and for information on walking and healthy eating. You can also log on your steps there if you are so inclined. (Kathie likes to log hers in her calendar system It gives her a feeling of satisfaction — and accountability.)

As the site points out, the average American gains between 1.8 and 2 pounds a year. Just 2000 extra steps every day (about 15 minutes) can keep you from that weight gain.

As one single mom reported, she started walking, lost weight and most importantly gained energy. "I realized I’d been mistaking being busy with being active," she says. Now she gets up at 5am to fit a walk in before her girls go to school.

So are you active or busy, and what does that mean to your short term stress and energy level and your long term health?

One great idea they share is to get pedometers for the whole family. Have contests on who can get the most steps in. The kids will love that and maybe
they won’t fall into the national epidemic of obese, sedentary kids! One of the 100 tips to walking more is to get up and change the TV channel rather than using the remote. Now how hard is that to fit into your day?

Pedometers are only $15 and available in the AFEES system and in civilian stores all over, (or on the America On the Move site for $18.95.) To start out, just try to increase your steps from one day to the next.
You’ll discover you just plain feel better!

Did we start the German Hula Hoop Frenzy?
We’ve been using hula hoops in our workshops for years — in programs all over Germany as well as other places. It’s a fun way to get some exercise and take a joy break from work or chores. We even had the German chefs at the Grafenwohr Volunteer Appreciation Ceremony hula-hooping. So now we hear there is a big hula hoop craze in Germany. Did we start it? Probably not, but you never know! And we don’t care who started it. We love to see it happening. Try a hula hoop today. There’s no more fun way to reduce your waist and boost your energy!
Copyright 2003 Hightower/Scherer

Share your story:
As part of our research for the Follow Your Dreams
While You Follow the Military™ book, we are
collecting stories of military spouses who have done
just that — created a life, a program, a business, a
career that allows them to pursue their passion as
they live this military life. We’ll share some of
these stories in future issues.

Do you have a dream to share? Either, one you want
help with, or a success story to inspire other military
spouses? Email us at kathie@jumpintolife.net (and
you’ll get a free Joyful Living booklet in thanks for
writing.)

Fun Products
While we work on our Follow Your Dreams While
You Follow the Military‘ book, we have some other
products that can help you create and live your
dream! To order any of these call Kathie tollfree at
866-569-5695 or email or fax in an order— see
contact info at the bottom. And, yes, I can take Visa
or MC (does that make us professional or what?)

The easiest way to order is to go to the product part
of the website, www.jumpintolife.net, and download
an order form to fax or mail or call in.

Creative Living Audiotape Set: (2 tapes,12 minutes)
- on the joyful living concept & goal achieving
tools, tips & resources) $12

Your Enchanted Life: A Journal of Discovery &
Delight (a playbook full of exercises & action
steps) $18

Simple Joys: Little Things That Make a BIG
Difference (a pocket-size book with one idea per
page) $6
*similar ideas in a booklet that can mail in a #10
envelope are in the Joyful Living Booklet $3

Magic Rainbow Glasses
(see the good in Everything) $6

As Is (pewter pins)
Show the world you are already quite wonderful just
the way you are – faults and all! $25

A Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the
Military Workshop at your post/base?
We do four-hour workshops for military spouses.
(These have been called different things in the past
— Joyful Living, Creative Living, Jump Into Life —
we’ve finally settled on what it’s really About —
Follow Your Dream While You Follow the Military.)
We’d love to do all day sessions or 2-3 day retreats
someday too. We have LOTS of information to
share.

Here’s what other military spouses are saying:
"Wunderbar! I have gained worthwhile & valuable
information on how to turn my dreams into reality.
I wish I had a seminar like this to attend 15 years
ago." –Gwendolyn A. Williams

"This was the best thing that happened to me
in Germany!"—Alicka Ampry-Samuel
If you know someone who hires trainers for your
base (often the Family Advocacy Office or ACS),
send us a name and address and we will mail a full
information packet. We’d love to come to your
location.

Feel free to forward this ezine to other military
spouses. We are also happy to have you use any of
the articles in your newsletters providing you ask us
first and then provide us with a copy for our records
and celebration!


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