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Archived Issues
Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the Military!™
Join us to learn how to Increase Your Energy,
Decrease Your Stress, and Go for Your Dreams!
An "as we can get to it" newsletter/ezine with
ideas, resources, stories and inspiration so you
can Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the Military™ written by
military spouses for military spouses!
Volume 13, 2003
In This Issue:
 Daddy and Mommy
Deployment Dolls
Bowling
alone? Research on Happiness & Health
Just
for Today – a powerful stress management tool
Transitioning
out of the military – share your story in a new book
Specific
stories we need for our book
Daddy and Mommy Deployment Dolls
We have to spread the word about the Huggee Miss You dolls we discovered
at the Ft. Lewis Bazaar.
These dolls were created out of need by Audrey Storch for her two boys.
Four and seven when she went into the hospital for breast cancer treatments,
the boys would go to bed with her photo clutched in their hands, crumpling
it thoroughly at night. Audrey created stuffed dolls with a plastic sleeve
at the face to slip a photo in.
The idea spread. People started asking for them and a business developed.
Susan Agustin, an Army wife, discovered the dolls when relatives sent
one to her 3-year-old daughter Maddie with photos of her cousins to keep
in front of her.
"When my husband Gene deployed to Qatar, daddy’s photo replaced
the cousins," says Susan. The ‘Daddy doll’ went everywhere
with Maddie — to the commissary, to the movies, reading books at
night. In fact, Gene would call and ask "Where did we go and what
did we do today?"
Maddie’s preschool teacher mentioned that many of the children with
deployed parents needed a doll. And a home-based business was born.
People use them for all kinds of absences, from short TDY trips to long
deployments — to "mom and dad going out" evenings. They’re
a way to help with the pain of a best friend moving to another state and
a way to keep children connected with relatives living far away.
These are simple stuffed dolls with crazy yarn hair that are a huggable
picture frame. They aren’t meant to look like people, but to let
the child connect with the photo.
The dolls come in two sizes and many different fabrics at $10 and $20
each. The process is underway to get them into AFEES but for now you can
order them by contacting Susan Agustin at Close2hrt@yahoo.com or 253-912-1554
Bowling Alone
— what this research means for your happiness and health
Bowling Alone — what this research means for your happiness and health
I just read a fascinating book for a column I write for a local publication.
Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, by Harvard
professor Robert D. Putnam, documents the trend toward fewer social connections
in America.
He shares all kinds of research about this trend. I thought I’d share
two key findings here.
1. "Dozens of painstaking studies from California to Michigan have
established beyond a reasonable doubt that social connectedness is one
of the most powerful determinants of our well-being." In fact, one
study showed that people with the fewest social ties had the highest risk
of dying from heart disease, circulation problems and cancer even after
you account for individual health states, socioeconomic factors and the
use of preventive health care. That’s pretty strong proof that we
need to connect with others.
2. Putnam points out many contributing factors to our lower levels of
connection. One key one is television watching. Research shows that the
average American adult now watches between four to six hours of television
each day. That doesn’t leave much time for social interaction. But
it’s not just time that is the culprit.
Television-watching more than most other activities promotes lethargy
and passivity. Bet you’ve noticed that with your young children and
teenagers. But notice it for yourself too. Heavy television viewing is
also associated with loneliness and emotional difficulties.
So why am I sharing this information? For one thing, I wish I’d known
this when I was first married to the military and living in rural Alabama.
I isolated myself by not connecting to the military community AND found
myself hooked on television talk shows and General Hospital. I even scheduled
job interviews around those shows! I was miserable. Luckily for me I wasn’t
totally alone as my husband wasn’t deployed so I had his company
in the evenings.
But I wasn’t connected to community.
I worry about the military spouses who are dealing with deployment, isolating
themselves and turning to television for company. Add to that excessive
time spent glued to the worrisome news coverage in Iraq and Afghanistan
and you increase the negative impact. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle.
You don’t feel like getting yourself out to connect with others,
which makes your life more lonely and unhappy.
Of course, the chances are, if you are reading this ezine you are connected
and actively involved in life, so you don’t fall into that category.
But you may know someone who does.
Invite her gently (and repeatedly) to get out and join you in specific
fun activities. Ask for her help in an area she’s skilled at and
enjoys working in. Show her this article. I wish someone had done that
for me years ago
A Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the
Military™ Workshop at your post/base?
We do four-hour workshops for military spouses. We’d love to do all
day sessions or 2-3 day retreats someday too. We have LOTS of information
to share.
Here’s what other military spouses are saying: "Wunderbar! I
have gained worthwhile & valuable information on how to turn my dreams
into reality. I wish I had a seminar like this to attend 15 years ago."
–Gwendolyn A. Williams
"This was the best thing that happened to me in Germany!" Alicka
Ampry-Samuel
If you know someone who hires trainers for your post or base (usually
the ACS Director or Family Support Center Director) send us a name and
address and we will mail a full information packet. We’d love to
come to your location.
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"Just for Today"
— A Powerful Stress Management Tool
We always focus on self-care in our workshops
for military spouses, whether you are dealing with a deployment or not.
It’s the foundation that allows you to handle challenges and live
more fully.
Many military spouses share this tool for how they manage this crazy lifestyle.
When they plan their day, they schedule in their self-care FIRST and then
work the rest of the demands and chores around that self-care time. That
way it was never last on the list (like it tends to be for so many —
"last and never gotten around to").
And they stick to the motto: Just for today…I can take care of myself.
Just for today I can make healthy choices when eating, just for today
I can drink lots of water, just for today (tonight) I can get to bed earlier,
just for today… Do not think about tomorrow or of losing 10 pounds
or of adding a full-fledged long-term exercise program. Just think about
today. What can you do today that will be taking care of yourself? Make
that your priority for the day.
You will see when you focus on taking care of yourself – just for
today – when you go to sleep at night you can lay your head on the
pillow and say – yeah – today I took steps to take care of myself.
You will feel better about yourself and your body will feel better too!
And when you wake up the next morning, start all over again with "Just
for today I can put self-care first"
Transitioning out
of the military?
Share your story in a new book Army wife Janet
Farley, author of Jobs and the Military Spouse: Married, Mobile, and Motivated
for Employment, is writing a new book about transitioning from the military
— focused on the experiences of both military members and their families.
If you’d like to complete a survey for the book, email her at janetfarley@hotmail.com
Specific stories we
need for our book:
Share your story: As part of our research for
the Married to Military: Take Command of Your Life! How to Follow Your
Dreams While You Follow the Military TM book, we are collecting stories
of military spouses who have done just that - created a life, a program,
a business, a career that allows them to pursue their passion as they
live this military life. We’ll share some of these stories in future
issues. Email us at kathie@jumpintolife.net (and you’ll get a free
Joyful Living book in thanks for writing.)
Some specific stories we are looking for right now are based on the chapters
we are writing currently. We’d love to hear your stories or to have
you pass these on to friends who have stories to share.
Passions you've discovered because of a move with the military.
Example: Kathie would likely have never tried kayaking if they hadn't
gotten assigned to Ft. Lewis thirteen years ago. Now kayaking is a central
part of her and her husband's lives and will be as long as they are able
to get in the kayaks!
Life highlights that came because of a military move to a different
country or different state — or just because of something that happened
during your military life. Example: Linda is an Army wife and harpist.
Because they lived in Germany when the International Harp Congress took
place in Prague, she was able to afford a train trip there and ended up
connecting with top international harpists.
Creative things military spouses have done to make even not-so-great
living quarters more livable. These can be things you did or friends/neighbors
did. Example: One stairwell in Germany where everyone joined together
to make the stairwell itself inviting, with plants and paint and crafts
all up and own the stairwell – not to mention around the front doorway
and garden area to the side of the door stoop.
A PCS move that seemed particularly horrible at first and turned
into one of the best for some reason. Example: Janette a Marine wife moved
to a remote location that she immediately hated--no shopping, no culture,
no jobs for her. She ended up volunteering in her sons’ school and
was then paid to create an art-in-the-school program they'd never had.
Now she's looking to pursue that field of work, something that would never
have occurred to her in the past.
Seeing a problem and finding a solution/creating a solution. Example:
Holly got to Germany and found herself immediately unable to be independent.
She didn't know the language or customs and her husband was gone all the
time. She partnered with another woman to create an orientation program
for all military spouses new to the community, to teach them the skills
they (and she) needed to survive and thrive in Germany.
Children's life highlights because of military life. Example: Greg,
an AF civil service brat, got to go on an educational cruise to Egypt,
Morocco and other places during high school because they lived in Germany
Energy enhancing and stress reduction tips you have learned to
help you deal with this challenging and demanding lifestyle. Example:
Brenda, a Navy spouse, listens to books on tape while unpacking moving
boxes, sometimes she puts on loud dance music and dances her way around
the house while unpacking.
Thanks in advance. And remember, email us a story and we’ll send
you a free Joyful Living booklet (with 75 ways to add more joy to your
life). Just be sure to include your snailmail address when you email us
at kathie@jumpintolife.net.
Email this to others
Feel free to forward this ezine to other military spouses. We are also
happy to have you use any of the articles in your newsletters providing
you ask us first and then provide us with a copy for our records and celebration!
Contact Us:
Kathie Hightower & Holly Scherer
Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the
Military Seminars
kathie@jumpintolife.net
2908 N. Warner Street, Tacoma, Wa 98407;
Tollfree: 866-569-5695;253-761-8161;
fax253-759-4009
Or contact Holly directly in Memphis at
901-756-7391 or email her at
schererjh@earthlink.net
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